Prince Harry’s Replaced His Psychedelic Drug Habit With Toxic Meghan Markle Love?

British royal family news reveals that Joe Public has no idea where Prince Harry is but apparently he’s been in constant contact with his California-based wife, Meghan Markle.

According to one source, the clown prince finds his starter wife irresistible despite her shabby treatment of him.

Royal Family News: Is Meghan Controlling?

Here’s the latest dish on the absentee ginger prince who: a. could be in rehab, b. is recovering from hair plug implants, or c. is shacking up with his surf instructor—you choose how to fill in the blank about the blank.

Where in the World Is Prince Harry?

According to RadarOnline.com “Sources snitched henpecked Harry, 40, remains under the 43-year-old former TV actress’ thumb even if they’re oceans apart, and she treats the former party animal like the iron-fisted parent of a young teen.” Oh my.

But wait, there’s more! The insider spills that Harry “has to check in regularly and stick to her road trip rules, including a strict 11 p.m. curfew.” Yes, but what time zone?

Royal Family News: Is Harry Henpecked?

According to media reports, Harry, the Duke of Sussex left his Montecito home, and two young children, in late September for various pit stops as a rent-a-royal.

In early October he disappeared from sight, and no one is admitting that they know where he currently is or what he’s smoking doing.

In case you missed it, Harry flew first to NYC, then London, and was last seen in South Africa. We feel like NORAD could implement a Harry Tracker at this point.

What justifies Harry allegedly leaving his two young ‘uns to grow up without Pa for weeks at a time? The source says that Harry and Meghan’s “star power wasn’t as successful as they hoped” thus Harry is now “soar(ing) on his own” doing what he did in his previous life.

Prince Harry’s Vulgar Slur, Suggests King Charles Is Bullying Him

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Royal Family News: Is Harry Back to His Old Life?

PR guru Mark Burkowski claims “There has been a separation [of their work] for a while. They had to change the narrative” which is a story that “other analysts have all but confirmed … others feel that this could be an underlying metaphor for a troubled union behind closed doors.”

Another source dished that Meghan is “super controlling. She extends her tentacles to rein him back into her web anytime the old Harry we all thought was a dunce, but a lovable one comes crawling home. It is sad to see him grovel back like a dog with his tail between his legs.”

And yet some royal experts insist that the Duke and Duchess of Sussex are “deliberately staging signs of marital trouble” in a bid to keep their names in media headlines. Tell us what you think royal fans!

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