Ashley Judd Reflects On Her Mother’s Suicide, Prays Death Will Rid Her Of “Guilt”

Ashley Judd and her siblings are dealing with their mother’s death differently, even as they feel the pain of it heavily. For the singer, who performed as part of The Judds for a while, alongside her mother, her utmost wish is that her mother found peace when she died.

Ashley Judd – Shares The New Perspective She Has About Life Following Her Mother’s Suicide

It was a dark day for the family when Naomi Judd was discovered dead at her apartment, a day before she and her daughter Wynonna Judd were meant to be inducted into the Country Music Hall of Fame.

At the time Ashley grieved, saying: “My mother, our mother, couldn’t hang on until she was inducted into the Country Hall of Fame by her peers. I mean, that is the level of catastrophe of what was going on inside of her. … The lie that the disease told her was so convincing. … [The lie] that you’re not enough, the lie that you’re not loved, that you’re not worthy. Her brain hurt. It physically hurt.”

Three months on and Ashley is still trying to get past the grief and understand why her mother would choose to end her life, even after all her continuing success.

“I look back on my childhood and I realize I grew up with a mom who had an undiagnosed and untreated mental illness,” Judd said during a talk with grief expert David Kessler on his podcast Healing with David Kessler. “And there are different behavioral expressions, interactions, flights of fancy, choices that she made that I understand were an expression of the disease and I understand that and know that she was in pain and can today understand that she was absolutely doing the best she could, and if she could have done it differently, she would have.”

Earlier during the chat, Ashley confessed that she’s worked her way past feeling guilty for her mother’s death, because she recognizes she “didn’t cause” her mother’s illness, “couldn’t control it” and also “couldn’t cure it.”

She then shared her wishes that Naomi’s death at age 76 will bring a sense of peace to her.

“My most ardent wish for my mother is that when she transitioned, she was hopefully able to let go of any guilt or shame that she carried for any shortcomings she may have had in her parenting of my sister and me. Because certainly on my end, all was forgiven long ago, all was forgiven long ago,” she said.

Her sister Wynonna is honoring their mother’s memory by continuing their farewell tour The Judd: The Final Tour.

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