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Now father to four, James (9), Inez (7), and more recently daughter Betty in July 2019, and baby Olin, born in February 2023, with his wife Blake Lively, Ryan shared with PEOPLE how his relationship with his kids has helped him process his feelings toward his father.
“I think many men and boys have a somewhat complicated relationship with their fathers,” Ryan said. “But for me, the healing and closure around my dad really came through my relationship with my own kids.”
James Reynolds lived with Parkinson’s disease for nearly two decades, and Ryan remembers his father as a man of “incredible integrity.” The actor, who has been married to Blake since 2012, praised his father’s strong moral compass, saying, “He did not lie. He had this compulsion and moral and ethical compass that I think was very impressive.”
Struggles With Communication, Understanding, And Acknowledging His Father’s Flaws
However, Ryan also acknowledged that his father was far from perfect. Despite his integrity, James Reynolds had his share of flaws.
“He made a massive amount of mistakes, was not a great communicator, blew it—lots of stuff,” Ryan admitted. “But I blow it all the time, and we all do. It’s funny that our parents are meant to have this kind of infallibility. I feel like part of that process and journey for me is with my own kids… I get to fill in those little gaps that maybe hurt me with respect to my own father.”
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In another conversation with PEOPLE, Ryan reflected on how his father’s battle with Parkinson’s disease affected their relationship.
The actor admitted that he had a hard time understanding what his father was going through, especially as the disease progressed and his father experienced hallucinations and delusions. “It really destabilized my relationship with him because I didn’t really know what was happening,” Ryan said.
Ryan also revealed that his father rarely spoke about his illness, which added to the strain between them. “He said the word ‘Parkinson’s’ maybe three times as far as I knew—and one of them wasn’t to me,” Ryan shared.
This lack of communication and the growing distance between them left Ryan feeling frustrated and robbed of the chance to find common ground with his father.
A Final Act Of Connection And Healing Through Parenting
Despite the challenges, Ryan found some solace in a letter he sent to his father five months before his death. In the letter, Ryan listed all the amazing things his father had done for him over the years, from showing up at his football games to playing catch with him after practice.
“I know for a fact it meant the world to him,” Ryan said. “So I did get that closure, but I wasn’t with him when he passed away, and I do wish I was.”
Now, as a father himself, Ryan has found healing through his relationship with his children. He even named his first child James in honor of his late father. “The healing for me really comes more through my relationship with my own kids,” Ryan explained. “I get to fill in those little gaps that maybe hurt me. I get to show up. When my kid is acting out or telling me I’m the worst—my dad would retreat into the power of silence, and that is not the way to acknowledge your kid.”
Ryan concluded by reflecting on how his experience with his father has influenced his own parenting style. “I’m like, ‘Oh, okay. I just weirdly didn’t mean to, but I fixed something with my own dad,'” he said. “It’s a continuous process of putting pieces of the story together and finding peace with it.”
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