Tori Spelling Opens Up About Financial Hardship and Motherhood Guilt

Tori Spelling has been open about the difficulties of being a single mother to five children—Liam, 17, Stella, 16, Hattie, 13, Finn, 12, and Beau, 7—since being divorced from Dean McDermott in June 2023.

Spelling talked candidly about the logistical, financial, and emotional challenges she has encountered in the months since the breakup in a recent edition of her podcast, “Misspelling,” which was released on December 6.

A Recorded Therapy Session with Dr. Hillary Goldsher

During the podcast, Spelling invited psychotherapist Dr. Hillary Goldsher to join her for a recorded therapy session. She admitted that her career in Hollywood has made it difficult to establish consistency in her family’s life.

“It’s not financially consistent, nor is it stable,” she explained. “With five kids, I feel like I’m sorry. I’m constantly letting them down because my life is not stable. Their lives are not stable. I can give love in abundance, but they’re on this roller coaster with me, unfortunately”

Reflecting on her earlier years as a parent, Spelling recalled a time when her career was more secure. “For a long time, work was really stable. I was a workhorse in an empire with multiple shows, product lines, and brands,” she shared. This stability allowed her to provide a certain lifestyle for her eldest children.

However, as circumstances changed, so did their experiences. “Now, they’re privy to more than I think that I’m comfortable with children being privy to, just because we move as a family unit now,” she noted.

A Life In “Fight or Flight”

Spelling described the aftermath of her separation as a period of constant upheaval. “Since my soon-to-be ex-husband and I separated, it’s been fight or flight,” she said, adding, “whether it’s emotionally, physically, financially, we’ve just been going.”

She revealed that life’s unpredictability has been a recurring challenge: “When life keeps serving you things — unexpected things — on a daily basis, you’re, like, ‘Oh, I got past that.’ And then you have a plan, all of a sudden, boom. And it’s day to day.”

Dr. Goldsher empathized with Spelling, explaining, “I am not surprised to hear that you’ve experienced — as many women going through divorce do — fight or flight system constantly activated.”

Spelling compared her journey to climbing a hill. “I feel like I’m constantly climbing that hill, and just as I’m about to reach the top, something happens, and I slip back down. I know everyone can relate to this on some level, but it’s exhausting.”

Balancing Work And Motherhood

The actress also opened up about the guilt she feels when her work demands take her away from her children. She admitted that her 16-year-old daughter Stella has often stepped into a caregiving role, referring to herself as the “second mom” of the family.

“When I’m gone all day for work, it falls on Stella to oversee the family. She’s a junior in high school, excelling academically, and has a full plate. I feel so guilty when I come home, knowing she’s shouldering so much responsibility,” Spelling confessed. “I feel like I’m putting my job onto her, and that feels terrible inside.”

Unlike many other single moms, Spelling highlighted her family’s lack of additional support. “Some people have babysitters, nannies, or housekeepers, but we’re just us,” she explained. “I know that’s probably hard for the public to understand, but it’s true.”

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Spelling’s Fears And Hopes

Despite her efforts, Spelling shared her fear that her children might feel neglected. “My fear is that, deep down, they feel abandoned,” she said. “I’ve been so busy with work these past few months, but I still worry that I’m not giving them the individual attention they need and deserve.”

Through it all, Spelling emphasized the love she has for her children. “One thing I can give them is love in abundance,” she said. Yet, she acknowledged that love alone cannot shield them from the instability of their current reality.

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