Meghan Markle Re-launched Her Blog, Selling Homemade Jam To Make Ends Meet

British royal family news reveals that Meghan Markle’s latest business failure is actually a repeat of her closed-up The Tig blog. Her new blog name illuminates her aspirations and limitations.

Whereas The Tig was named after her favorite alcohol, this one is tragically named ‘American Riviera Orchard.’ Meghan intends to peddle a “a luxury lifestyle brand” that competes with actual working stars

Gwenyth Paltrow’s Goop and Martha Stewart’s Living Omnimedia. Good luck with that. She launched her fabulous news on the same day that Prince William and Harry honored the late Diana, thus stealing away the thunder of a dead person. Stay classy.

Royal Family News – Meghan Markle’s New Venture

According to the Daily Mail, “The Duchess of Sussex’s new project is said to have been in the works for more than a year – and will feature ‘all the things that are close to her heart.’” After she locates it.

But wait, there’s more! Meghan is promising to make a new cooking show for Netflix “where she will be making and selling her own products. It will lead onto a book and blog to go alongside her cookery displays.”

Get this—among the tchotchkes that Meghan plans to sell is homemade jam—because nothing screams botulism better than homemade jams and jellies.

Meghan Markle Deemed Clueless With Latest Move

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There will also be “cutlery – knives forks spoons – cookbooks and electronic cookbooks, coffee … butters … tableware, mugs, jams, tablecloths and recipe books.”

Meghan launched a bizarre video of herself to promote the new venture and it is spot on schizoid. We see Meghan in the kitchen, purposely blurred, then Meghan outside in a black ball gown. Nothing is in focus, exactly the way Meghan conducts herself.

Royal News – Meghan’s Hubris

The scrawl scroll on the blog continues Meghan’s theme: cock-a-doodle-doo doo. Right above the word ‘American’ is a cheap royalesque logo. Someone should tell Meghan that Riviera and Orchard are two different themes.

As for the name, Meghan allegedly calligraphied it herself, a scrawny, cheap looking concoction that breaks the first rule of marketing: it’s completely illegible. Most tellingly, “Comments have been disabled on the Instagram posts.”

The Diva’s “announcement comes on the same night as Prince Harry and Prince William are set to make a rare joint appearance at the Diana Legacy Award event at the Science Museum in London – but neither will be in the room at the same time, even virtually.”

Royal expert Richard Fitzwilliam told MailOnline “The Sussexes in my opinion do nothing by accident and timing is often absolutely pivotal … For years they’ve been unpredictable but they have been predictable in one sense, and that is the unerring timing when they believe it’s beneficial to get information out. They don’t do anything by accident.”

Tell us what you think of this cynical new Markle venture, do you plan on buying Meghan’s peach jam anytime soon?

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