Royal Family News: Prince Harry Rumored to be Making Spare into a Film

British royal family news shows that Dirty Prince Harry is at it again, provoking outrage over his behavior. What is Harold up to this time? He’s said to be shopping his NSFW bio, Spare, as a feature-length movie. Yuck.

What would the title be: ‘Penis-gate’ or ‘F****** Grifter?’ It’s just a rumor at the moment but one royal critic is raging at the thought of the Duke of Sussex allegedly looking to further profit off his family’s misery.

Pundit Gemma Tognini can’t believe anyone would pay to see the book’s anecdotes, including his frost bit penis and virginity loss. Who would even play him?

Tognini told Sky News that the book may be a best-seller “but I would also argue that it doesn’t even indicate that [Harry and Meghan] are popular.” She’s right; opinion polls reveal they have never been more disliked by the UK and US public.

Royal Family News: Harry’s Sordid Bio

She explained the book sales by saying they were “hate purchases … I know people who are like I can’t stand it but have to read it. So I don’t necessarily think it’s going to be a blockbuster.” Exactly—who would buy the cow after Harry’s given away the milk?

“I have a little bit [of sympathy] for Harry because he’s clearly a broken man-child,” Tognini said. “But at what point does he actually get to have some kind of closure and deal with his demons? He’s just an angry little turd throwing potshots at everyone.”

We’ll have to wait and see if anyone bites at producing Harry’s turbulent life story, but at the moment the Markles are in the weeds. They are nothing less than the most mocked royal couple ever to inhabit the planet and that’s saying something.

Meghan Markle And Prince Harry Push To Possess ‘Posh Lifestyle’

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For now Meghan Markle appears to have ditched Harry, at least professionally. The former Suits star is now signed to talent agency WME and for once Harry is not riding her coattails.

Royal News: Meghan Markle Can’t Fail

A source told the publication that “The thinking on Meghan’s part is that they owe it to themselves to fight back and make a success of things, however much that costs and however challenging it may be in some cases. She’s told the team that her new plan simply can’t fail.”

The source added that the couple want to “prove the haters wrong.”

Royal Family News: Meghan and Harry’s Haters

Some of the hate came from Spotify who basically called them lazy con artists after releasing them from their contract. One source blabbed that Meghan “is distraught over this Spotify snub and the fallout that has followed. It’s totally knocked her sideways.

She can’t believe she’s been attacked so viciously and so publicly by one of their execs, and to be labeled ‘grifters’ is an utterly humiliating and gut-wrenching all-time low—it’s served as a brutal reality check that things really do need to change to save their popularity.” Somewhere PT Barnum is cackling in his grave.

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